Rambling thoughts...

I don't know about anyone else, but I am sure ready for fall. I heart fall. Something about the crisp air, the leaves changing, Halloween, knowing that the holidays are right around the corner... Not sure what it is, but I do know that I am ready.

I was just thinking the other day, that it has almost been a year sense we packed up our lives and our sweet babies and moved across country. We were only there 6 months, and we have already been back 5 1/2... It's crazy to me.. When I think back on our time in PA, I get mixed emotions. I use to just get this sick to my stomach feeling, now I almost kind of miss it. Maybe not miss PA, but I have a tendency to miss moments, if that makes any sense. I normally just flat out say that PA was the biggest mistake we ever made, and that it was a waste of 6 months of our lives. This isn't all true. Do I feel like it was a mistake? Yes and no. Yes because when it came down to it, I don't think either of us really wanted to go at that point. I think we felt like it was our only choice. No, because I think we learned a lot about life and each other and other people while we were there. I know I did!  I miss the beauty of that state. The purity. It was a place I had never been before. EVERYTHING about it was new to me. Maybe because I like a familiar feeling, this scared me and I confused that feeling with hate or regret. I miss driving Layla to Pre- School. The drive was boring, but her and I always found something to talk about. I miss going to Jodi's and watch Lay with all the animals. I miss the boring afternoons waiting for Josh to get home from work. I miss watching Ryder learn so many new things. I miss all those "firsts" with Ryder. I miss laughing at all the silly things Grandma Jean "thought" the TV was saying.  I guess what I am getting at is, I think I have finally come to realize that PA wasn't all that bad and maybe (like most things) it happened for a reason. Maybe we are still blind to what it was exactly, or maybe I am starting to realize that I needed to be away and have the time to look in at my life and realize what I have and to be grateful for it. Not really sure... I look around me and I see that there is so much to be happy about and for some reason it just feels like something is missing still. I can't seem to put my finger on it. I mean I have to amazing babies. That bring me laughs and smiles everyday, many times a day. I have Josh, who is more than I can put into words. We finally have a home! We both have good jobs and able to live a comfortable life... Maybe it's just that for the past year I felt like something was missing and now it's not so it feels weird to me?... Who knows really. It's late and I can't sleep. Once again. So I am rambling!

Our loves.

Sissy and Brother.

Silly kids

My Princess

Love those baby blues


XXOO